top of page
  • Writer's pictureEleanor Hadley

Sex life stagnant? Here's how to introduce toys in to your relationship

Sometimes we can get stuck in a routine when it comes to sex.

So, if you're looking to switch things up a bit, why not try introducing sex toys in to your partnered sex-life?

Explore new sensations, enhanced pleasure and elevated orgasms with the addition of your favourite sex toy - or, try something brand new together for a fun adventure.

If you’re new to using sex toys with a partner, here are a few handy tips to get you started:

Discuss the topic outside the bedroom first

Studies have shown that couples who regularly speak about sex outside the bedroom, have far more satisfying sex lives. So, don’t stay quiet. Speak up and regularly discuss what you like, what you don’t, what you’d like to try together and of course, your desire to use sex toys together the next time you get it on.

Not sure where to start?

Try these conversation starters:

● I’d love you to try my new vibe on me next time we have sex.

● Have you ever used a butt plug before?

● How do you feel about trying a cock ring?

● I’ve always wanted to explore double penetration, maybe we could use the Double Entendre next time?

● I’d love to watch you use a dildo, I want to know exactly how you like it..

Choose a toy to try together

couple sex toys
Get Frenchie ambassaor, Eleanor Hadley shares how to introduce toys

Perhaps you have a drawer full of options, or maybe you want to hop online and pick out a new toy together. Either way, it can be a really fun and bonding exercise to decide on what you want to try as a couple. This also builds the anticipation and extends foreplay - delicious!

Consider the type of stimulation you already like and the ways you currently have sex. What would be an easy addition to begin with? Maybe you love the feeling of clitoral stimulation while being penetrated.

Perhaps an internal toy for while your partner is going down on you sounds like your style.

Or you could try something for anal play. Consider the positions you love and what kind of device would

be most suitable and comfortable for the position - maybe that’s something small and flat, or something

with a long handle for easy access. There are so many options, so take some time to see what feels best

for you both.

Check in during and after

When it’s time to get it on with your boo and your new toy, make sure to check in regularly to see how it’s feeling for both of you and make any adjustments. As part of your regular aftercare too, be sure to have a chat afterwards about your experience, the things you enjoyed and how you might switch it up next time.

Remember, communication is key!

Using sex toys for self-pleasure and during partnered sex is a completely healthy thing to do. Remember,

you deserve pleasure, and you are allowed to experience it in all different ways.

So, get exploring and have fun!


Eleanor Hadley is a sensuality coach, sex educator & sensual movement practitioner.

She has supported women around the world to finally channel their feminine essence to create super turned on lives of ease and flow.

Her clients and students have fallen in love with their bodies once and for all, reclaimed their pleasure, unlocked orgasms, stepped in to their most confident selves and become super sensual.


Let's get social

  • Instagram
  • Spotify
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
The latest in lifestyle

On the podcast

bottom of page